


wait no longer

by tompolland



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Spencer Reid, Coming Out, Crime Scenes, Gay, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Murder, male reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-18 10:55:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20638013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tompolland/pseuds/tompolland
Summary: An LGBT-related crime breaks out. The BAU is set in action, and a few members are specifically worried...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just started watching CM so I’m a newbie ;-; But I’m kind of in love with Spencer Reid, and there are!!! Not enough!!! Male reader fics!!! 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Your office in the BAU wasn’t especially big: dark, as pretty much every room was, with two windows leaking in some light onto your coffee machine. You’d brought your own because… well, you were a bit of a coffee addict. Currently, heavy drops of rain were pelting loudly outside the room, creating a peaceful atmosphere for you to work. Rainy days were your favorite, because the cloud coverage gave you a sense of comfort.   
In front of you on your cluttered desk sat your computer, open and constantly plugged in unless you were out in the field. Focused on filling out a report for a previous unsub, you didn’t notice the door to your office slowly click open. A small crowd of shadowy figures silently crept towards you, one hanging back by the light switch…  
“SURPRISE!!”  
In that moment, you fell out of your chair, cursed loudly, and yanked your gun out of its holster. With the albeit dim lights on, you could see that the entire team was in your room holding a sheet cake and wearing those dumb party hats.   
“Happy Birthday!” Morgan said with a smile. Everyone in the room began to sing a very off-key ‘Happy Birthday’ song while you regained your composure and climbed back into your chair.  
“Thanks guys,” you said, huffing out a breath, “but what’d I tell you about surprise parties?”  
Everyone blinked and shuffled their feet. You sighed. “It’s fine… thank you. Another year for the books, amiright? Lucky to have made it this far in this line of work.”  
This earned a light chuckle from the group, and they eventually placed down the cake to cut and distribute. You took your piece and stepped to the side, watching everyone else serve themselves and mingle. As you forked a piece into your mouth, Spencer came up beside you with his own little piece sitting on a party plate, untouched, with a stupid hat sitting on top of his perfect hair- nope, no office attraction. He probably wasn’t even gay or bi or whatever.   
“Enjoying the cake?” he asked casually, glancing down at you and shoveling part of the corner into his mouth. Yes, he was taller than you… you were a bit on the short side.  
“Of course… I’m glad you all remembered my favorite kind is yellow. And surprisingly, this is a really good sheet cake.”  
Spencer smiled. “Well Y/N, only the best for you. Without you in the BAU, I don’t think we’d be running half as efficiently.”   
You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, right. I’m just another investigator, Spencer.”  
“No, look at what you do!” he exclaimed, waving around his fork for emphasis. “You help us immensely when it comes to observing mental habits and patterns of our suspects, and not to mention all the unsubs you’ve managed to catch. I’d say that’s pretty damn important.”   
You blush a bit and stab at your cake. “Heh… I guess. Thanks Spence.”   
He gives you a smile. “It’s just the truth, Y/N. Come on, there are some gifts people are anxious for you to open before Hotch gets another call and we have to leave the party behind.”  
You returned the smile and followed him back into the crowd of coworkers. The rest of the day went by smoothly: you finished your report and helped Dr. Reid with a project of his own. It wasn’t until late that night that the call came in. Hotch stepped aside as the crew watched from their seats.   
“Thank you,” he said, finishing his call. He turned to everyone in the room, putting his hands on his hips and exhaling loudly. “Three dead heading to a movement for LGBT rights. Victims were 25 year old Lewis Peterson, 24 year old Quinn McGale, and 22 year old Kiera Dowley. A group of friends, multiple stab wounds and no solid evidence left behind. What we do know…”  
“It’s pride month,” you interrupted. “If this guy is targeting people on the LGBT community specifically… no one on the streets is safe now. No safer than they were before.”  
“The community already has it rough,” Hotch added. “Pride exists for a reason, one we all know. This killer knows.”   
“And he could strike anytime.”   
He nodded. “Alright everyone. You know what to do.”  
Everyone turned in their chairs and faced their computers: some opened paper files, others stood and went to discuss what information that had on the case. Everyone but Reid, who jogged up to Hotch. You didn’t see or hear any of what they said, as you were in a different room with Morgan.  
“Hotch,” Reid whispered to get the man’s attention. “Hotch, you know I- well- is it still ok for me to go?”  
It took a moment, but Hotch eventually understood. He sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I don’t know, Reid. I know how much it means to you, but we need you on the team.”  
“I know but-“  
“You can go, Reid,” Hotch interrupted. “But be on the look out. It might even be good; gives you a chance to be on the look out.”   
“Thank you, sir,” Reid replied, “I- with all this news, I don’t know. But I don’t think I’ll let it scare me.”  
Hotch smiled and patted Reid on the shoulder. “You got this, kid. We might even be there.”   
Ending the conversation, Reid nodded and moved to his own desk. Just as he sat down, Rossi stride out of his office and ordered him, Morgan, you, Hotch, Elle, and a few others to come with him to the scene. You grabbed the file containing what the BAU knew about the case and followed after everyone to the cars. Reid was assigned to ride in your car, so you let him play some music on a low volume.  
“Is this a first in LGBT-related crime for you?” you asked Reid. He shuffled a bit in his seat.  
“Shit, sorry,” you mumbled. “Well uh… at least you’re in the clear? I don’t want to assume but-“  
“Yeah,” Reid answered hurriedly, and reached to turn up the radio volume. “I’m in the clear.”

You didn’t say anything else the rest of the ride. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter :3 thanks to those of you who read the first and came back for more! I feel so awkward writing about this since it’s my first time doing something CM related, but... it’s worth it. Enjoy!

Only Rossi and Hotch knew about Reid’s sexuality. Reid would never forget when he had told them: it was a matter of professionalism and well-being in the office. Of course… it’s not like Reid seemed totally straight. Especially to some professional investigative officers.  
In the car, he couldn’t look at you. He’d just lied about his sexuality to- guess what- a professional investigative officer. But to him, you were completely straight. Nothing about you suggested it to him or anyone else in the office. Only you knew that you were gay.  
Once you arrived at the scene of the crime and parked the car, Reid was out of his seat before you could even unbuckle. Hotch and Rossi stood over blood stains on the pavement surrounded by caution tape.  
“How did the killer get all three up close…” Rossi whispered to himself. “And it’s not a murder-suicide?”  
“No,” Morgan said. “None of the victims had any weapon in their hands. Nothing was found nearby: just the three bodies. And as to how they were all killed relatively close…” he paused. “Maybe the killer was walking with them.”  
“As a part of the group?” you questioned. “Was sexuality involved you think? Someone posing as a homosexual or transgender person? Or were they for some reason out to get their three LGBT friends?”  
“Most LGBT-related homocides are committed by heterosexual cisgender white males,” Reid supplies. “Religion may have played a part. Motives of LGBT violence are sometimes driven by religion, self-hatred, general resentment...”  
Hotch crouched down near the ground, and by his expression you could tell he was deep in thought. “Contact the families. Ask about relatives, friends, etc..”  
“On it,” Morgan said, pulling his phone out to call Garcia.  
You looked around the street. “Also ask her to see if LGBT people are common in this area, or LGBT-related violence. Any previous reports of assault, the like.”

-

Days passed. A lesbian couple was murdered on the neighboring street. A trans man found dead in his apartment. And sadly more. The day of the pride parade approached, and the whole community seemed to be at unease. There were gatherings with LGBT figures speaking out against the homocides, protests, community therapy sessions for those scared for their lives. The BAU was working with scraps of evidence: but mainly a bullet used to kill the trans man. Hotch and Morgan were able to identify the round and the gun it came from, taking the whole investigation one step ahead.  
The day before the parade, as you were heading out to get something to eat, you heard a noise coming from the men’s bathroom. Slowly and without making any noise, you pushed the door fully open and observed only one closed stall. It sounded like… crying.  
“Hello?” you called out. “Reid, is that you?”  
The crying slowed to quiet hiccups, and eventually nothing. The closed stall was pushed open. Reid stepped out, wiping at his eyes.  
“Y/N,” he greeted. “Sorry, I just uh-“  
You didn’t say anything, simply walked up to him and gave him a hug. He seemed shocked, but you felt compassion for the poor guy. All these people being brutally murdered for being themselves- it was a lot to take in. Reid started to cry again, clutching at your shoulders as you rubbed his own.  
“It’s ok to cry, Spence,” you whispered. “I know it’s a lot, but we’ll catch this bastard and make sure he never hurts anyone else.”  
“It’s not- well, it is that but… not only that,” he stuttered, pushing away from you. “I just need some time alone. Sorry.”  
You shook your head, stepping back. “No- of course, I understand. I’m here for you though, ok?” You gave him a small smile. “Take care of yourself, yeah?”  
With a smile and a nod, Reid existed the bathroom and strode over to his desk. You sighed and watched him for a moment before going back to your task of getting food.

The pride parade was today, meaning you and other investigators would be under a lot of strain, keeping busy, trying to stay sharp, all of that. The event itself hasn’t begun, but barricades were set up and the procession as well. The BAU had set up agents all around, hidden in parks and buildings close to the street. There was no doubt that the killer would be there today. The only questions were whether or not he would reveal himself, and if he did, how. You paced anxiously near your station: police were common during pride events, so the entire team hoped the visible agents wouldn’t draw too much attention. Slowly, people began to arrive. College students, high school students, older couples and singles, the elderly… everyone with displays of pride. Drag queens and prominent LGBT figures made their way to their part of the parade at the starting point. It was honestly a beautiful sight to see everyone together, but you could feel the slight unease coming off of almost everyone. The way couples held hands too tight, and parental allies stayed close to their children. Wild eyes glanced all around, occasionally landing on an officer before bouncing to a different part of the crowd. With all this information in mind… it was hard for you to not believe something would happen today.  
  
Apartment building. Three floors up. Fourth door. Bedroom, closet. Hangers being pushed aside by slender fingers, searching for something unknown even by the examiner.  
Reid sighed as he threw another cardigan onto the floor. He had narrowed it down to a few options… but he was completely and utterly new at dressing like this, at participating in this, at putting it all on display. Especially when his colleagues would be keeping a sharp eye: there was no way he wouldn’t be recognized. Plus, he hadn’t been there in the wee hours of the morning when he was supposed to be (thanks to a few button presses by Rossi).  
The select outfits he was mauling over were laid out on the bed. A yellow t-shirt with black skinny jeans and hightop converse (all of which he was pretty much completely against), one of his typical teacher-like outfits (something probably unacceptable), and a nice pink button down with the black skinny jeans and the converse (the shirt made it okay). He felt like staring at the clothes for so long would burn holes in them. A million worries were on his mind, but today was his first… he just felt that he had to participate. Taking a deep breath, he reached out and collected the outfit of choice.

The street was so crowded, you began to wonder how they all fit inside the barricade. Everyone was anxiously waiting for the parade to properly begin- probably even the killer, if he was there. At the last minute, Hotch had moved you actually _onto_ one of the bigger floats. There was a place for you to hide with visible access to the crowd and an easy exit. Finally, music started blasting from speakers by the barricades, people began talking into microphones, and the crowd around the parade went wild. You jerked a little bit as the float began its slow journey to the finish point, but managed to keep your eyes on the crowd. After 15 minutes of nothing happening, a heavy sense of unease sank deep in your stomach. The crowd, caught up in the festivities and food and entertainment, had seemingly forgotten about the killer.  
And then, you saw him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks... this might be the end of this short but sweet fic. I was really just dipping my feet in the water for CM and my baby boy Spencer... so I hope to improve with him since it’s been so long since I’ve devoted myself to a fanfic. Anyways, I’ll be writing more, and if you should want more of this specific fic... don’t hesitate to drop a comment :) thanks for reading! 
> 
> -TH/TP

_And then, you saw him…_

Spencer Reid. Standing not to far from the barricade, decked out in a pink button up and black skinny jeans. The colors of the bisexual pride flag were smeared on his cheeks. His smile was so wide, and he was cheering with the rest of the crowd. In that moment, you lost yourself. A chill ran up your spine, your stomach tightened, and your eyes froze on the young man. So either Hotch also changed his position so he’s undercover… or Spencer is actually bisexual and part of the crowd. Holy shit. But you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, so in that moment, you just relished in seeing him smile so wide and seem so carefree. Everyone there was, coming together even after-   
_**SCREEEEEEEEEEE**_  
The music stopped pumping from the barricade speakers. A loud feedback squeal filled the air. Your phone began buzzing, but you were too shocked to pick it up. Once the horrid sound stopped, something much worse came through. The sound of heavy breathing filled the air (how was the person getting control of the speakers??). The crowds began to panic, creating chaos amongst themselves. The parade itself came to a halt. You wanted to burst out of your spot and tell them all to remain calm- a stupid statement really. But you couldn’t blow your cover like that.   
The labored breathing was replaced by a heavily distorted deep voice. “Look at you all,” the voice growled. “Little devils… mistakes and disgraces to the earth…” He chuckled to himself. “Spawns of Satan. You think you’re allowed to have your pride?!”  
By this point, you could see officers and agents running out. But you held your ground.   
“You’re all nothing! Doomed to hell, useless, disgusting, unnatural. Attention seekers! You’ll pay for your sins… the final day of judgement is here!”   
By the end of his speech, you were shaking uncontrollably with hurt and anger. You needed to find this bastard, and he would pay for all the things he said about all these wonderful people. These wonderful people who had lives to live, people to love, a purpose. Beautiful, carefree people who deserved to be safe and recognized as an equal part of the human race.   
And then, what you feared the most. After his speech, there was no doubt the killer would simply reveal himself. He was mocking everyone around him. Screams erupted from the crowd. You couldn’t see the other floats from your spot, so you rammed up against the side in an attempt to break through. Gun shots. Loud. Not far from where you were. You rammed against the side again, and tumbled through the float design. Some people gasped upon seeing someone else with a gun, but you focused on the unsub. (You would later learn that he too had emerged from the float he was standing on).   
“FBI! CEASE YOUR FIRE, DROP THE GUN.”   
He looked down at you. A mask covered his face, but you could tell he couldn’t care less about officials. He shot his gun into the crowd a few more times before turning it to you. Moving fast before he could pull the trigger, you aimed for his leg and shot him down. His gun fell to the street below, and he rolled down as well. Right to the feet of Agent Hotch, who moved quickly to pin him down while Morgan handcuffed this piece of shit.   
“Y/N!” Hotch yelled up at you. You slid down from the platform and stood in front of him.  
“Yes sir?”   
He gave you the smallest of smiles, with a touch of sadness behind it. “You did good. Go find Reid… I trust you saw him out their given your position. It’s ok.”  
You nodded and put your gun back into it’s holster, running up to the barricade and vaulting over. People were sobbing, and as much as you wanted to stop and comfort him, you needed to find Reid. Ambulances were arriving on the scene. Paramedics ran out into the field.  
“Medic! He needs a medic!!” someone was yelling. You pushed through the crowd to the small opening where the person was yelling.   
“FBI!”   
People cleared out from around the victim. Someone was crouched over them, holding the wound. You couldn’t tell if it was Reid: the person stopping the bleeding was blocking your view.  
“FBI, please step away,” you ordered, gently moving the witness away. You looked down at the body and your heart fell to your stomach. A pink button up. Black skinny jeans. A red stain seeping through the stomach area.  
Spencer Reid, lying on the ground, his eyes fluttering only slightly.   
The world around you seemed to submerge in water. Everything was muffled, even your voice as you screamed for a medic. Somebody to find a medic. Your movements stiff, you placed a hand over the wound. Spencer grimaced, but you spoke to him in a hushed voice that you had to stop the bleeding, that you knew it hurt but it had to be done. He went limp. Your throat became more rough with every scream for a medic. You brought your ear down to his chest, hoping, praying that there would be a heartbeat.

_Thump thump._  
Fainter.  
_Thump thump_.  
Fainter.  
_Thump thump. _  
Fainter.  
_Thump thump._

Finally, you heard the wheels of a gurney being pushed over the asphalt street. Oxygen mask. Lifted onto the gurney. Into the ambulance. Without a second thought, you jumped into the vehicle and took a seat near Spencer’s head. You took his hand, gently rubbing circles into his palm. His chest fluttered with every slight rise and fall. The ambulance began to move.

A few hours after arrival, outside the hospital, you called Hotch.   
“Y/N? Where are you? Where’s Reid?”   
“He- he had to go to the hospital. Unsub shot him in the abdomen, shoulder… he’s in surgery right now.”  
“Are you okay by yourself?”  
You bit your lip for a moment. “Yeah, I’ll take him home when he’s cleared. Hotch, I just- I have a question.”  
“Go ahead.”  
“Is- is Spencer bi? Or was he undercover in the crowd?”   
A pause. “That’s not really my question to answer. Ask him when he wakes up, and call me when you’re taking him home.”  
“Ok.”  
“And Y/N?”  
“Yeah Hotch?”  
He sighed. “You know Spence. Just… be there for him.”  
“I will, sir.”  
With that, you hung up and went back inside. Just as you were about to sit down in a chair outside his room, a Doctor strode up in front of you with a clipboard in hand.  
“Are you here for Spencer Reid?” she asked.  
You stopped yourself from sitting and stood, straightening out. “Yes. I’m not necessarily kin, but we work on the field together.”  
She raised an eyebrow at you. Sighing, you brought out your ID and flashed it so she could see. She nodded, and drew herself together.   
“Well, Mr. L/N… Spencer is cleared from surgery. It went relatively smoothly… as expected, there will be some scarring, but what you probably want to worry about most is the PTSS.”  
“Of course.”  
She nodded. “You can go in and see him, if you want. He might be awake.”  
Biting your lip, you looked towards the door. The doctor walked away. Your heart thumped rapidly in your chest as you pushed through into the room, gently shutting the door behind you. Spencer looked… peaceful. His eyes were closed, his lips parted slightly. An oxygen tube ran from his nose over his pale, pale cheeks. The heart rate monitor beeped quietly in the background.   
“Spence?” you whispered, sitting in the chair by his bed. “You awake?”  
His eyes fluttered open, dark and heavy lashes flitting over his skin. Slowly, almost as if it hurt, he turned his head towards you and slowly blinked.   
“Y/N?”  
You gave him a small smile. “Hey buddy.”  
He sniffed a bit and shifted, only to wince and put a hand to his side. “Wh- what’re you doing here?”  
You bit your lip. “I came here with you, Spence. I’ve been waiting for you to get out of surgery.”  
He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. “Oh.”  
“Are you… do you need to sleep?”  
“No.”  
“Okay.”  
Heavy silence filled the air.   
“So, um…” you started. “Spence I- I have a question.”  
The beeping from the heart rate monitor sped up, bringing a light chuckle out of you.   
“What is it?”  
You shrugged. “I- I know it’s not really my place to ask, but… I dunno. It’s just been on my mind.”  
“Y/N, just ask.”  
“Right…” you mumble. “Spence, I- I saw you at the parade. With your outfit and t-the paint.”  
He closed his eyes once more.   
“W-well I was just- I was wondering if you-“  
“Yes, I am bi,” he said, opening his eyes and looking straight into yours. His were watering every so slightly. “I am. And I- I just- I didn’t-“  
The monitor continued to speed up as he sniffled and gasped little breaths. “I-“  
Without thinking, you leaned down and took his face in your hands, gently kissing his lips. They were smooth, soft and… tasted like cream and coffee. Slowly opening your eyes, you moved away after the briefest of moment. Spencer looked slightly surprised, but a small smile formed and he breathed out a laugh. His hand went up to the nape of your neck, pulling you down to his lips again for a longer amount of time. His tongue gently poked out against the seam of your lips, and in turn your lips parted. You cradled his face, gently thumbing the loose tears that slipped from Spencer’s eyes.   
“Why are you crying, Spence?” you whisper, pulling away for a brief moment.   
He just lets out a wet laugh and shakes his head. “It’s nothing, just- I feel like I’ve been waiting forever.”  
“Well, wait no longer,” you reply, moving in to rejoin your lips with his. The only sounds in the room were the sound of lips tenderly nipping at each other and Spencer’s monitor beeping at a faster pace. Silently, he separated from your lips and wrapped his arms around you, ignoring the pain from his shoulder to pull you down into a hug. You chuckled a bit, doing the same and threading your fingers through his hair. He tucked his nose into your shoulder and inhaled, savoring this newfound moment between the two of you. 


End file.
